Tonight I am writing a letter to my long lost pre-baby boobs. We have a lot of catching up to do and there’s a lot to say so I better get on with it…

Dear boobs,

I am sorry. I am sorry for the way I may have treated you in a previous life – I am sorry I scolded you every time I attempted exercise, I am sorry I trapped you under those armour plated sports bras, I know you must have hated being so, um, flat. I’m sorry I described having you was like a ‘disability’ because I couldn’t function like a normal human without my chest poking someone’s eye out or knocking me on the chin. BUT…You were wonderful, you were beautiful. Jesus you were so firm! So solid!

I know I said that having to go to a special shop for big boobed ladies was a pain, a chore, restrictive, and that’s before I’ve even mentioned the big bra bills, but it was fun wasn’t it? You looked great in them all – plunge, balcony, t-shirt, you pulled them all off, you were bloody brilliant. We had some great times together. Remember when we were backpacking and I couldn’t work out the exchange rate and accidentally blew my budget on a £100 bikini? That was a great trip wasn’t it?! And what about that vintage dress I wore to the graduation ball? It looked like so tacky in the shop, but you totally rocked it! I guess I should probably apologise for that nipple piercing, but we got over that, plus it suited you at the time.

I miss you. I took you for granted. I thought you were over the top, impossible to dress and worst of all I thought you made me look wide. You didn’t, you were the best. You were a joy, you’re probably the reason why I found my husband (thanks). So how about reuniting? How about getting back together like the old days? I’m ready, I’m waiting, I’m here for you. I know the breast feeding was a shock, it was to me too, but you did a sterling job, there’s no need to look so sad any more. Perk up, life’s good! We did it! I’m losing weight, it’s summer, I’m getting a tan, come back, come on, I have all sorts of new dresses for you to enjoy!

Well, I hope to see you soon. I hope that all these press ups and chest presses I’m putting in brings us back together soon. Wouldn’t it be lovely to get back together just in time for summer?

Please write back, your sorry and loving body xxx