When I was pregnant I think I’d have been quite interested to know about some of the little things to do with babies that are much harder than they look. Obviously the biggies are tough – feeding, routine and sleeping occupy most advice pages and thought space, but here’ s a few things I’ve found surprisingly harder than they would seem. I think I’ve mastered most of them now…sort of, almost, nearly… 🙂
Dressing a baby
I’m not ashamed to admit that I look forward to dressing Phoenix every day. Damn it, I’ll even go so far to confess that sometimes when he pukes all down himself I relish in the excuse for another outfit change! However my excitement of putting together his ‘oh so trendy’ baby wardrobe has been somewhat doused since discovering that changing a baby is really quite a pain in the ass! All their limbs seem to bend in the wrong places and they always seem to get two legs in one hole and the arm through the neck etc. Also the bigger they get, the more wriggly they become making it even harder to match limb to hole. Plus, Phoenix is potentially going to be a nudist as he seems so happy to be naked…ah sigh, there go my bigger wardrobe plans, lucky I didn’t have a girl me thinks.
The one thing I find really hard is when you try and put on a t-shirt and you get half way over the head and think ‘this is never going to go on…oh god I’m going to crush his skull with a silly cotton t-shirt’. Shops shouldn’t really sell baby clothes without suitable stretchy necks or poppers to make them bigger, especially if you have a baby who has inherited your moon shaped head.
Also putting on bibs, what’s with that?! Sounds silly, but I find it so awkward! Surely it’s time for a bib invention to make this easier. I never seem to get in early with bib application and it usually has to go on during a moment where Phoenix is desperate for food, so is either flailing limbs everywhere or doing the ‘plank’ where he makes his body all stiff and rigid. And it’s in this moment that I have to somehow lift his head (which really irritates him) and then match the two bits of velcro together neatly. Maybe I’m being a clutz but it just feels like such a faff!
Cleaning boys bits
Boys have so many bits down there! All those different folds and grooves ready to attract dirt. I think I’m actually a bit obsessed with making sure Phoenix has a bright and sparkly clean willy. It just feels like a massive responsibility to be looking after it until he can himself! I don’t want to get that wrong now do I? It must be so much easier with a girl. It’s also amazing the power that those tiny willies have. I was aware that when changing a boy’s nappy, you have to point the willy facing down so they wee into the nappy not through the gaps, however I didn’t think I’d need to do that until he was bigger. Wrong. It took quite a few mystery wet patches before I finally realised what was going on.
Obviously rocking him isn’t hard, and is lovely, but bloomin heck, it totally kills your arms after a while! He’s becoming a right little lump now, so it’s tough on the old guns to walk him around for as long as he demands. Sometimes I’ll be walking him around and then as soon as I sit down he’ll pull a big grumpy face and start crying. As soon as I get up and start moving he’s all sweetness and light again – it must be so nice to be able to demand being carried around like that just for comfort!
What a total pain. You buy those sterilising machines which look so clean and simple and easy to use, yes, to be fair they really are, but you spend literally hours of your life rinsing and turning on that thing. I hate it cluttering up my kitchen, I hate that can’t just grab anything unless it’s been in there, and I also hate how everything comes out so wet and you can’t really dry it off as then it’s not really sterilised is it? Grrrrr. Sterilisation rant over. Better get myself off to bed…
Anyone got any to add?!